August 6, 2011

Erik's visit -- singing, swimming, laughing

Well, Erik visited last weekend and I'm pleased to say everything went pretty well.  My son and I picked him up in Brownwood and as soon as he got into the car he started smiling from ear to ear.    He settled in for the 3 hr trip.  We put some music on and he sang, clapped, tapped his hand on his legs ...  and pointed (the cute thing he likes to do when he sings - like he's an entertainer pointing toward his audience).

Smilin' and singin'
 On the trip home while driving through a small town I saw a billboard for Altzheimer's awareness.  There was a picture of an elderly person on the billboard with these words:  


 I know what I want to say but just can't find the words to say it.  

That's sums up Erik's world, he tries to get the words out and sometimes succeeds, even if it's just one word.  Most times he tries and gives up but we tell him it's ok.

Erik adjusted well to our new house.  We were able to get him in the pool and he ended up really loving it.  We had such fun with him there.  I'm so grateful.  We had family and friends over to see him and that made it even better.

keepin' cool.

Erik laughed, kidded and, of course, enjoyed his meals.   Oh, it was great to see him throw his head back and laugh real hard.

He did the same old "Erik" things, wanted to show off his watch and the contents of his wallet numerous times.   He kept talking about singing so we put on some hymns and Erik sang along.  He sang with such sincerity and tears in his eyes, it really was a "holy moment".   You know it's interesting, he doesn't have the same hesitation singing that he has with speaking.

What's in your wallet?  Erik will be happy to show you what's in his.

I learned some things while Erik was here.  

1.  Don't ask him to make a decision or to choose.  Just make it for him.  Too many choices - his brain can't process them.

2.  It's going to take a while for him to do personal things - longer than usual.  My husband helped him shave, brush his teeth, and get dressed.

3.  It's a really good thing he agreed to wear disposable underwear at night.

4.  Erik doesn't sleep through the night anymore.

5.  Adjusting to change isn't as easy as it used to be.
I would guess that most of these are normal old-age related issues, right?

6.  And last, but not least, Erik loves his group home.  He mentioned some of his friends there the 2nd day he was here.  I asked if he missed them and nodded.  As much as he loved being with us in his old hometown, he loved returning to his friends. (more about that in a future post)  That fact gives me such comfort.   Being a long-distance care-er is hard enough but knowing he's so happy where he lives is a blessing to his family.

I guess all who see a loved-one lose their mental abilities through Altzheimers grieve at the loss of communication.  We're grateful that he's not belligerent, angry or hard to be around.  But we miss the old Erik who could converse in depth, tease even more, and tell you ALL you needed to know about the TV schedule or the bus route or the weather report -- areas in which he was the expert.

If any readers are experiencing life with an aging Down syndrome adult I'd love to hear about your experience.  I hope your summer is going great.

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