January 8, 2013


It's been difficult to know what to write on Erik's blog.  

We had a wonderful memorial service for Erik.  It was so uplifting and there was a lot of laughter.   I was so honored to stand up and speak about Erik along with my sister and brother.   I usually hate speaking in public.  But on this day, it was such a privilege to speak about him -- because I was overflowing with gratitude, gratitude that he was my brother.  My son and my sister's son played their guitars, leading us in hymns.  We had an informal sharing time when people stood up and shared memories of Erik.  Seeing and visiting with family and friends who attended was one of the biggest gifts I've ever received.   

Now comes remembering, grieving, adjusting to change and resting. 
Erik has been such a huge part of my life for so many years.  I've really never had to go through this kind of loss.  I will miss him.  When I drive around our little town, the roads used to lead to him.  Our garage is full of his things, many Dallas Cowboy things.  

But the thought of Erik in heaven, healed from all mental disability, completely made whole, experiencing life and joy in abundance -- fills me with such wonderful peace - deep, deep down.  It's hard to verbalize because I'm not sure we have adequate words on earth to describe what I think Erik's experiencing at this moment, but I know it's good.  And, because of my faith in Jesus, I know that I will see him again.

Soon, I will post my tribute to Erik and my sister, Becky's tribute to him.  As I wrote mine, I almost began with this but ended up deleting it because of length:   Sibling relationships are so strong.   I read a book recently about how a person's first memory was important because it held some kind of special meaning into that person's life.  I'm not sure if that's true but as I was reading the book I started considering what my first memory was.  I thought it was something regarding kindergarten.  But a few days later another early memory arose,  and it involved Erik.  Our parents had taken us to a church, one that we had only started attending and we had to drive a long way to get there.  Erik and I were placed in the same Sunday school room.  While there, 2 other boys started speaking unkindly to Erik because he looked different.  And I didn't like that.  So I remember giving them a piece of my mind.  That was so unlike me - to stand up to bullies like that.  But even at a young age I guess protecting Erik was built-in, no matter the cost.

Thank you for reading and taking an interest in our amazing brother.

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